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Online Dating

It seems, as a society, while we are granted this wonderful opportunity for widespread connection via modern communication technology, we may only do so from far beyond arms reach, one email at a time and then maybe facebook stalk to friend request to text to phone conversation until we’ve invested a million extra seconds with someone whom we’ve only read and maybe seen the best of their thousands of digital pictures, all for a single face to face meeting where, if “it” is actually there, then the effort is well paid, but if not, you feel like Jerry Seinfeld making jokes about the waitress or passers by or, worse yet, talking about the weather or traffic or another subject that’s on the outer layer of the conversation onion, all the while waiting until it’s late enough to get away with the “early meeting” excuse that you’ve undoubtedly planted within the first three minutes of the evening because that’s all it takes to know weather you like her or think of her as “nice, but”, which is not to be confused with “nice butt.”


The Cool Kids

The other day my friend and I were talking about the frequency of the dynamics of the culture of bars in the city that I just moved back to and all cities for that matter.

It’s only been two years since I left here to now that I’ve come back and a lot is different and new and the people and the things that they where are all different from what they were then and there are new bars and remodeled bars and the people and the hotties to people ratios at all the bars has shifted like a kaleidoscope does, as a zero sum game that keeps the same colors but moves them eloquently according to the orientation of the angle of the inflection held in respect to the light source.  The change and rate of change and even the style of the change is what happens everywhere that people congregate and live together, competing and conversing and loving and the millions of degrees of the lack thereof that lay below L-words and above solitude.  It’s a neverending state of change and it has been this way for as long as there has been a way and it will forever be this way, so long as there exists the gumption in people to strive to do more and get thiers and slos give thiers whilst being known and popular and place high value on having friends and girlfriends and booty calls and so long as our genes continue to play with our actions like puppet masters playing the game of social and biological influence.

It’s sort of like when we were kids in, say, the sixth grade when some kid rolls up whereing high double socks and Polo’s with a white T undershirt and he gets particular attention from one of the early-developed girls who were fine then on a level an adult could not ever know.  He hollas and she hollas and the rest of the kids just watch and sulk awhile until they emulate.  Even then, before we were even aware it was ‘all about the nookie.’

Especially back then, and even before when it was just about the ‘the cookie.’  She was the first with Boobs and a Butt worth looking at and all the dudes are squeeky-faced little hornballs that now where double tube socks that are high and bunched up and some had to beg their moms for hair gel and Polos with cool emblems and they emulate thier walk and the words they use and they too holla holla holla at all the other girls who’ve started to develop early and they, the guys, act dumber than they are because its lame to be smart and they play sports and skip class every chance they can and flip quarters in the restroom and are sly about making the most of getting in trouble as if they were Zack Morris and they later brag about the leisure of In-School-Suspension and thier absense in-class makes them even cooler as the are missed and even if they only had even more than one friend their two friends talk about them.

These are the few, the proud, The Cool Kids who ran the school.  Girls with boobs included, their influence is seemingly infinite because they do things and people follow them like marine’s follow Orders; they “…follow orders or people…” don’t socially get by.  And like the military, there are multiple levels of bureaucracy who have culturally delegated degrees of influence.  There are the friends of the cool kids and then the friends of friends and so on and occasionally there are separations and intersections, but it all comes back to just a hand-full of cool kids who each are like the Lions of their respective Prides – in control and fat from never being hungry, wearing large brown manes and having all bark and they can bite but they don’t need to because they have their minions and this the high point of the rotating pyramid of the Deduction for the Source of Influence in any society.

For as these kids grow up, the trends and the rules change like the kaleidoscope and so does the light, which is perhaps the source, but the rules and the trends are the inflection of that source and the kids who were cool, by High School, probably still are cool, but even then the ideas and so the responsibility for having the things money can buy have begun to transform those whom are were the Cool Kids.   These ideas of potential wealth in addition to other metrics literally transform that which makes up one whom is cool.  For instance, the guy with high socks is now nothing but another wangsta and the girl with the early boobs has already begun to transcend from her prime towards the early days of fathood.

(Make no mistake.  These are real people.)

Her descention, at first, seemed to be a mere effect of a physical development curve but, in the light of our Gene’s Sex Trade, her T and her A have been scientifically proven to be most relevant components of Cooldom as, according to The Science of Lust, men tend to be most attracted to women with a waist to hip ratio of 7 to 10.  In her case, in Middle School she rocked out with her jeans tight and chin raised in High School and in the time of the decade of her twenties she’s gained in the waist to become a 9 to 10 and a 10 to 10 ratio of a little tree truck and those same little flatchested girls who envied her for her shape back then – jealous of her mamories and the incredible opposite-sex attention with which she was constantly flooded; they now swim in that same attention from many of those same little sports-playing boys who’s voices have deepened and faces cleared.

But the BOOBjeois girls wouldn’t be flattered from lines from the original two tube sock wearing Cool Kid from sixth grade; remember, he’s just a wangsta now and his former emulators have gone in their own directions and some together and many of them have evolutionized many trends through their immediate and expanded network of friends who now where fat laces in their low tops while one-hand driving their parent’s SUVS; exclusively sitting around square tables at lunch and passing in makechift circles in secret parking lots after second period.

These are the cool kids and as we grow and as times shifts beneath our feet the trends that they portray and pick up and dispose on the sub-social worlds in which we live move to and from all of us in a matrix of figurative 1’s and 0’s in a seemingly chaotic snapshot of every ‘right now’.  The chaos is further compounded by a multitude of perspectives such as the ever evolving shoe game, the importance of ciggerettes and other drugs, the general relativity of toys, the pub-sprawl population, xenophobic charactirization and many, many more.

In writing this draft more the a month ago, I’ve realized that there is far more here than space available on a secret blog.  So, then, I decided to start to document the rise and fall of cooldom from my own perspective and too from the perspective of those whom I do and will prod fro thier opinions from the deepest part of thier onions and make a book from the resulting notes and understanding.  All I need a pseudonym and support and to follow my own advise to do more now everyday.  I’d say wish me luck, but luck is for losers who’d rather not take credit for good or bad decisions within good or bad situations.  As if a master of the universe, wish me Good Journey and advise and competant critisism or the good nature of positive people, agents or publishers who’d be willing to gamble on ideas that need no reference, only readers with open minds who’re aficionados of the deduction of the way things are.

Good Journey,

Do More Now.

My Previous Vocabulary.

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